Thursday, 12 December 2013

Finding your C-Spot...

Has anyone ever had one of those days where they just want to crawl back into bed and not wake up until your child is of school age? What about one of those days where all you want to do is crawl back into bed with the person who helped create the little terror that is currently destroying the living room? We've all been there. Having kids means that you and your partner get very little time together, let alone any time for romance. 

So what happens when you and your significant other want to get amorous? Do you wait until the moment that Grandma picks up your offspring and then rip off each others clothing and do it right there behind the barely closed front door? Or do you run upstairs like a couple of teenagers, tittering and giggling all the way up to the bedroom? Or do you calmly walk up the stairs to the bed your share and collapse on to it, far too tired to even contemplate getting hot and sweaty together? More often than not, you'll find that the last choice is the most likely. But even if you do muster up the energy to have a little bit of fun, who knows what could be lurking beneath the duvet... It's highly probable that you'll find half a dozen items of clothing that only your little (or not so little) ones would fit into, a half eaten assortment of unintelligible food items and a slight damp stain that has a strong smell of wee...

How has it come to this? Only a few months ago, you were your cradling your newborn and thinking how blissfully happy you were all going to be. The next thing you know, your little bundle of joy is 18 months old and chews everything in sight, constantly switches plug sockets on and off like they have OCD, has puked/defecated/snotted on every single bit of furniture you own and has a pair of lungs on them that Pavarotti couldn't rival.

What happens next? How do you get out of your six month no-sex rut without admitting to your partner that you simply don't want them to see you naked, for fear that they'd run off or try to trade you in for a stretchmark-free model, with no cellulite or a mummy tummy? The answer is simple. Hop into bed and do it anyway! Your significant other has stuck around all this time and has gone through every emotional breakdown, hormonal outburst and plain old raging tantrum with you and they haven't left you yet. Chances are that they still love you like they did when you first met, maybe even more since you've provided them with a family. It proves a lot when your partner sticks with you through thick and thin. Who cares that your body may have changed! If your other half loves you then it means they love every single bit of you, including your scars, cellulite, baggy eyes, saggy boobs and all the other wonderful things that motherhood bestows upon us. Just remember that even the supermodel mums have to work at their relationships. 

As for how to go about getting some alone time with your significant other, I'll leave that up to you. Just remember to check your pillow for snail trails before you jump on your partner!

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